Getting old can be enjoyable or not.  My father-in-law, Vern, a World War II veteran, has been my educator on growing old.  I have known him for almost 40 years and have watched as he has grown old, (87 years).  I remember when he was a strong young father watching with critical eyes, his little girl marrying the big stranger, who now helps with his care.  I watched Vern bury a child way too soon.  I saw him lose the love of his life, way too soon.  I watched a few years later as he found love again and married a new family, but then had to say good-by again, too soon.  His body and mind began to falter soon after and he resigned to be alone with the memories of the past.  His hearing and sight require aids and he no longer is supposed to drive, according to his doctor.  He lives in a big lonely house on a golf course.  He has nice neighbors but they are younger and have busy lives of their own.  We have tried to move him to assisted living and prepared his house for sale, but at the last moment, something comes alive and he refuses to allow the sale.  Something inside will not let him, let go of his home.  It is the last symbol of independence, and a link to the memories, and the past.   His car sits in the garage, but sometimes, takes it for a drive, against doctors orders, and against all of our wishes, just so he can say, “see, I can still do it”.  Some people call him stubborn, cantankerous, and ornery.  He says that he is happy and assisted living is not necessary, according to him.  Yet assisted living has come to him in services from the state, county, and his family.  We have all taken a project or two and made him more comfortable or safe.  When someone calls him stubborn, he laughs and lets the comment slide, like water off a ducks back.  He knows time is short so Vern is only trying to grab a few more pleasures, a few more memories, and a few more moments.  Thanks Vern.  I have seen the future and it is close.   Published every Wednesday, at least.

 

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